Day 4-6: Not much happening, so be Persistent

21 Days of Energy Healing Training: Notes on my journey & questions sent to my teacher
For a year or so I have been trying to heal from a personal relationship. No one meant to hurt each other but we discovered too late that there were wounds. My emotions and recovery fluctuate but generally am getting over it this year, but the past week was a down time. This time though, I felt something cold and distance inside me, not really wanting to involve each other in our own healing process anymore. It’s both a childlike “I want to make you feel bad!” and a wise “Focus on myself and let others be” feeling. It was definitely related to the sacral chakra. Last year in the worst times, I had chronicle discomfort in lower abdomen that I assumed was the ovary. I assume it was the ovary without thinking or looking up the condition scientifically, because the hurt was related to self-worth, sex, and feminine qualities.
I felt bad in the past 3 days because I have been performing self healing late in the night and already tired and drowsy. I wasn’t able to focus very well, and didn’t feel much effect. There should be a difference between falling asleep because it’s bedtime, and falling asleep because of energy work. On the other hand, I don’t know what to expect so even if I was doing it wide awake, it might have been similar experience? I thought I’d just stay patient, persistent and open minded instead of looking for some obvious signs.
These days I continue to feel bloated and prone to gas. There were emotions coming up in one sessions and I focused on the thought that this is releasing blockage, this will not stay with me anymore. I hope the intention helped!! But human are always fearful of letting go of strong emotions and strong connections, that’s why we cling on to emotions, whether good or bad.
Lovely reply from Samantha: I also feel that the reference to the past relationship where you felt a sense of “cold and distance” might actually be a good thing in that you are detaching from the situation and therefore feel more responsible for your own feelings which may be the best way to look at it.  Also, the wanting to hurt will be residual feelings coming up to be released.  I always say, you are not the feeling any more and it is only arising to be released.  I see in my students that after the first three Chakras have opened and started to cleanse, they feel much much better and this is the most difficult part so hang on in there, it is hard work to work out the negative energy and you are doing so well 🙂

I thought I was a bit overactive in the Third Eye chakra, but by reading descriptions, I face the qualities of both overactive and underactive. How can I better understand where I am? Or am I supposed to just work to balance it regardless?
Samantha: For the Third Eye Chakra, I can sense this is actually working well for you in that you are very intuitive.  I feel it the effects of the lower Chakras that make you feel you can’t trust your intuitive self rather than the Third Eye Chakra.
As I head into Days 6~9, I realized the side effects of solar plexus chakra is present with me everyday. I am always anxious and worried, shameful and guilty. It takes a lot of work for me to transit these mindsets. I am even worrying if I can ever release those blockages. Today some emotions came up and I felt like I couldn’t perform a self healing session. After writing all this, I suppose I’ll try again.
I thought about what would happen if I slack and don’t practice it daily. I guess it’s, again, like working out: nothing would happen, you just might not be as good as you could’ve been?
In the same time, I’m doing a little energy meditation of a more pagan/wiccan tradition.


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